What is your Word?

I have a question to ask to all of you. It comes from a book I am reading called. "The Call" and it seems appropriate to post this question on here given what you are all talking about.

If you had to choose one word with which you live your life by...what would it be? Note carefully that it is not a word that we can do easily or well. Because we cannot teach what we have never had to learn. This word in a nutshell holds the purpose of your lives.

The author Oriah says, "Look at your failures, at the places where you most easily go to sleep and become unconscious about what you are doing. Look at what does not come easily to you, what you long for but find elusive. Think about what gets you into trouble, what gets you way down the road of doing something that you don't want to do at a very high price. What internal habit or tendency repeatedly robs your life of joy?"

She points out that what we love or what we are good at... is not our word. If we cannot say no to the people in our lives ...our word might be "no". If we continually do too much it might be "rest". Perhaps Anthony your word is "gentleness" but I invite everyone to look deeper. If you love a word it may not be it. Our word represents our greatest challenge.

I would say that while I devote a good deal of my life to my beloved words "intuition" and "creativity" my most dreaded word and the theme of my life would be something like "intimacy" or "connection". I think my drive to trust my intuition and to be honest in my creativity is because I want to know myself very well so that I do not lose myself in connection with others. So that I have a strong self...one that is honest and true to my own feelings. I know that this is what I help others with. This is what I am called to teach.

I lose myself in intimate and in one on one relationships. I merge, I become the other...their feelings, their thoughts, their pain. I know what they need more than what I need. I have a big challenge working one on one with people. I take home their pain and I forget myself and then I get mad and withdraw. I prefer leading groups so the support and connection feels evenly distributed. I get a bit twisted up when I think of my word. Quite uncomfortable.

What is your word?

Birds

Seems like they're having a more contemplative conversation in the chimney this morning. I may sometime get around to taping them so you can hear them too ... :)

Patience?

I've been trying to work recently with the idea, 'when in doubt, wait it out', basically working around the thought that if you come to a difficult situation sometimes it's helpful to just trundle along until the circumstances change just enough to clean the windows of possibility for me again. Sometimes waiting dissolves the windows entirely so that the possibilities simply present themselves. Sometimes waiting just reminds me that sometimes I am not always a patient person. Maybe true patience dissolves the sense of waiting? What does it mean when people say, 'they tested my patience' or 'there are limits to my patience'? How can there be limits to patience? With true patience I imagine there is nothing to limit, being an attitude and all. I don't know.

I think I'd link this idea into my recent (and often inadequate) attempt to not make too many decisions in my life, my felt need for a decision often indicating that I haven't been gentle with either the situation, with others, or with myself. Decisions, I have found, are often born where gentleness doesn't feel at home. I haven't yet got to the point, though, where holding back on decision-making has become second nature, and last night I made a decision and acted upon it before I had really thought it through. Wouldn't be the first time. I'm hoping the consequences aren't too momentous! :)

Gentle Feelings

We did an exercise the other night as part of my breathwork course, where we discussed how we handle our feelings.

I had a lovely realisation that I have some general assumptions that help me process my "destructive" feelings (anger, sad, frustration) gently – and that because I rely so muchon the relationships I create (community work/Leadership) I cannot afford to destroy them at the will of a feeling passing through, but to bottle the feeling means it only comes back stronger. So these assumptions have become powerful tools in gently letting the feelings pass through....

Let me share:
Assumption
1) I never have all the information. So before jumping to a conclusion about why X happened (ie they weren’t thinking, they are inconsiderate, they are a power freak, ….) I ask ‘why did you do that?
Assumption
2) The other person is doing the best they can with what they’ve got, ie their good intent may be badly delivered, but it’s still good intent. So I approach with gratitude (ie I understand you meant well but this is how I experienced it)

Assumption
3) I will be looked after. That everything happens for a reason, and I may not know it at the time but I can assume that since I approach the world with good intent therefore the world has good intent for me – even if I don’t know what it is yet…. (loop back to one)

The only time I ever lose it (get when anger/sadness/frustration turns to rage... (ie no longer useful and instructive and more destructive) is when a) the other person does not assume my good intent and b) the other person pushes me when I am asking for space (so I begin to no longer assume their good intent, since I am asking for what I need and not getting it). Even so I can loop back to 1) eventually….over time... unless it happens again and again... then it's a deal breaker (I cannot be gentle anymore, do not like myself in that state so end the relationship).

Does that make sense?

Hugs Soooz

words mattering & silence

One of Anthony's sayings that comes back to me often is 'The more the words matter, the less the words matter.' My paraphrase: the more either side in an interaction insists on the precise definitions of the language used ("the letter of the law"), without regard to what's actually happening, the less likely it is that any kind of encounter or engagement will continue to take place.

I've just started reading through Ivan Illich's work in roughly the order he wrote it, and a couple of days ago I reached an essay called 'The Eloquence of Silence'. He is writing about the experience of working with Puerto Rican immigrants in New York in the 1950s and trying to provide Spanish language training to priests, teachers and social workers working with them:

They needed to learn the language, but even more they needed to attune their ears and open their hearts to the anguish of a people who were lonely, frightened, and powerless.

Quite evidently the mere study of Spanish was not enough. The man who can construct sentences with words and grammar may be much further from reality than he who knows that he does not speak a language...

I believe that properly conducted language learning is one of the few occasions in which an adult can go through a deep experience of poverty, of weakness, and of dependence on the good will of another...

It is... not so much the other man's words as his silences which we have to learn in order to understand him...

The man who tries to buy the language like a suit, the man who tries to conquer the language through grammar so as to speak it "better than the natives around here" ...is a man who tries basically to rape the culture into which he is sent, and he must expect the corresponding reactions... He continuest to "do things for people" and considers them ungrateful because they understand that he does these things to bolster his ego...

It requires much courage at this point to return to the patient silence of interest or to the delicacy of the silence within which words grow. Out of numbness, muteness has grown. Often out of the fear of facing the difficulty late in life of trying again to learn a language, a habit of despair is born.

At the pole opposed to despair there is the silence of love, the holding of hands of the lovers...

Reading this brought back to me the uneasiness I've had for a long time about never having learned another language (or not to any substantial level). I am not used to allowing myself that 'deep experience of poverty, of weakness, and of dependence on the good will of another'.

The words mattering reminds me also of a police report I read the other day that has been troubling me. It was in the evidence for a licensing hearing for an African-Caribbean nightclub in Sheffield that was originally an unlicensed "blues club". The report was of an incident when the club was being searched for the second time in an evening. One of the owners was very angry with the police, shouting that "this wouldn't happen if it was a white man's club". At the end, as the police were leaving, having failed to find what they were looking for, he shouted "You only do this cos we're nig-nogs!" The (white) police sergeant records that she "warned Mr X about using racist language". This disturbs me, because I can't conceive of "racist language" as existing independently from "racism" - and however wrong the guy may have been about the reasons for the search, when he used the word "nig-nogs" he wasn't being racist to or about anyone. It concerns me that the policing (in both senses) of language - without regard to context - obscures the reality of racism. But when I've tried to explain this to people, they suggest that it's me who's making the words matter too much. I don't think I'm just being a pedant...

Ordinariness

It seems that when I write, one insight begets the next. I seems if I don't express something, the next insight won't come. I have been thinking about my last post here about how I love the intensity of creativity.

One thing that came to me today as I was...you will never guess...doing dishes...is that I have somewhat of an addiction to inspiration. What I mean is that I am always searching for it, creating it, longing for it. I have an impatience for the ordinary....the dailiness, the routine tasks of everyday life. I have a restlessness that does not feel very gentle.

I turned 40 yesterday and I made a commitment to begin meditating and to deepen into the ordinary aspects of my life more. A dear friend gave me some fabulous meditation tapes based on balancing both sides of the brain with sound. I have had some pretty deep meditations with them already. It was from this balanced state that I did the dishes. I made tea. I carefully washed each pot and watched the birds outside the window. It felt effortless and ordinary and gentle.

a funeral

Yesterday I went to the funeral of a person that my brother and I went to school with. I hadn't seen him for years, but I knew him to be a good man, someone who radiated good will. His death was sudden and unexpected. A car crash, no-one else on the road. It can happen as simply as that.

I'm glad that people in my home town still treat a person's passing with dignity. There were about 200 people in the cortege going to the church, and the church itself was packed. I got to thinking about how gentle everyone was being, in simply being there in support for the family and the people that loved him, just standing there in silence, just being present, walking-with, walking-beside. Maybe chatting about everyday stuff with people not seen for a few years while walking behind the hearse, but that felt like part of it, too. Recognition of each other's humanity. Respect. Support. Presence. Community can be very, very real.

The priest described him as a kind and gentle man. I'm glad he had a kind and gentle send-off.

Politics of Gentleness?

Someone said to me yesterday that they had never heard the term 'politics of gentleness' before.

I've been thinking about what politics might mean. I've been thinking that in my attempts to settle into an attitude of gentleness it could be very easy for me to fall into the trap of unhelpful self-help, the achievement of harmonious smugnicity (don't look it up, new word). It's important for me to keep in mind that walks, meditation, eating better isn't about feeling better about myself and leaving it at that. As I move towards gentleness (and move away, and move towards, and move away ...), as I come to a more subtle awareness of what's going on, and a more subtle awareness of how I participate in what happens, in that listening I will find myself taking more care of my attitude in that participation. I will, in a sense, hopefully be able to respond more subtly to the 'call' of what happens, making myself more political, more personally political, more helpfully political. A little more aware of the frustrations, confusions, and uncertainties of everyday politics and relationship, perhaps, but more helpfully attuned to deal with whatever comes up. That's the idea, anyway.

For example, a simple thing, I've found that the more I look after the gentleness stuff, the more likely I am to pick rubbish up off the street as I pass. I used often to take the 'someone else will do it' attitude, but I can't get away with that now. The person who most gets to have influence on my attitude is me, and when I come closer to having an attitude that is about responding to the conditions of the moment there's no going back, I am where I am, and taking the 'helpful' path doesn't lead to disengagement (although in other circumstances 'standing back' may be helpful (When in doubt, wait it out?). It depends on the circumstances, I suppose.). Not sure what I'm saying here.

I suppose it's just that some people have responded to my championing of gentleness by dismissing it as a political possibility, I suppose in some ways working with the assumption that action is something other than that which we ordinarily do, that politics is necessarily something other than washing dishes, hugging dogs, or writing letters. For me, if I hold that action, politics, creativity, or change is something other than that which I ordinarily do, then what I ordinarily do is considered less hopeful or helpful or powerful that it might otherwise be. It remains crucially important for me to start from a place of helpful assumptions - I just don't find it helpful to reduce the range of possibilities of a transformative politics before I even start. The personal is the political for me; the smallest body movement, the most tender silence, the wildest boogie, the blowing out of birthday candles, the bus-stop conversation. I always-already make a difference, and I think it's important for me to be careful about how I do, to believe that there is nothing more personal, political, or relevant than attending to the character of my own attitude at any time. That's only ever going to be the difference that I make, it seems to me. That's my contribution, then I pass on.

Creating. Walking. Dishes.

I quite enjoy this sharing on gentleness. I feel most gentle when I am working with others and facilitating art groups, and finding creative ways to get people to be creative. Something about a creative process unfolding. It is such a miracle to me. It is so individual...like your mountains Soooz.

I worked with my elderly art group today. Old age seems to be a gentle, graceful time. It helps....I am sure... that they are living in the finest care facility in the city. They eat in a formal dining room, have art therapy, music therapy, live entertainment such as drum circles and magicians. They are rather a happy and satiated bunch overall.

I too find walking a form of gentleness therapy. I have 3 big dogs and I enjoy long solitary walks along the river. it is a good way to get back into my breathing body although sometimes my mind is going so fast and furiously, it takes a good half hour to settle down.

Now if only I could find gentleness therapy in dishes! I love to cook but I create a vast creative mess and everyone in my family protests that I don't clean as I go! . Every cupboard door is open. Spices spontaneously spill over on the counters. The floor is covered with bits of cilanto and stray carrot tops. I can't seem to stop to clean...I must get the spicing just right.

My lack of gentleness seems to come from trying to fit too much creative activity into one day. Rest is good for balance. Essential.

My Family

I'm rediscovering breathwork as a way of staying present through times that I don't want to be gentle (ie an alternative to passing out!)

The other night we did this wonderful exercise where we used clay to represent our family and what we felt about them. Now I know I'm a bit different (often said derisively but felt internally as 'wow, that's cool, I'm honouring my own self')...Anyhoo...

..everyone else did figurines, people, humanoid creatures and I, me, the different one, did a landscape of mountains and rivers...

The large mountains as my grandfathers and grandmothers (from USA/scotland and UK/ireland)and the smaller ones as the satellites of our family (like an archepelago)

The ocean waves as those people that come in and out of my life (still family) and the rivers as the course of my life through the landscape.

I also made new mountains around me for those who are not blood related but are family (waves at Ant *g*)... and large tracks of unknown lands for the bits of little known ancestry the danish, the african, the north american indian, the polish/russian. I also spoke of how the landscape is my family, me part of it, and it part of me... I realised that the vision of permaculture retreat I have and wish to create, has mountain, ocean and river very much a part of it. A picture of the landscape of family, in front of me.

I just remember everyone looking at me with a mixture of awe and dumbfoundedness.... (insight) that's how I remain gentle, I'm related to everything. Big responsibility, lovely feeling...

Soooz

Score one for gentleness

Anthony assured me I don't have to be a mental giant to post here...and I have a cold today, so I'm really not gigantic in any sense, except for my swollen sinuses.

I've been fighting an ongoing battle in trying to teach my 17-month-old daughter Miriam to be gentle with our pets, a Newfoundland dog named Howie and a cat named Poopie (don't ask).

Miriam, in typical toddler fashion, loves to body-slam, poke eyes, pull tails and otherwise assault the animals, and I'm constantly telling her "gentle, gentle, with Howie."

This morning we had a breakthrough. Miriam walked up to Howie, stared him straight in the eyes, and gently patted him on the nose. She then gave him a big hug around his huge head, was rewarded with a drooly lick, and walked away. I almost cheered.

River walk

Found a river walk half a mile from the house. I realised my hands and shoulders were all tensed up.

Was a way along the river before a wee birdy reminded me that I was caught up in my thoughts rather than settling into the walk. I tried to settle myself and just listen. That made all the difference. Fish-plopping, bird-flitting, and river-splishing. Had to keep reminding myself to recalibrate the whole way. Twas a helpful visit. Hoping to do this walk in the early mornings (if dry), and maybe find a few more around the place.

Zen-walked into a clearing where there was a house that is likely to become very important to me in the future. I'll let you know when it does.

I'm sad and irritable too, yayhay! :)

Hi lads,

Can I be sad and irritable too? ;)

I am sad and irritable actually, and I've been trying to practise being okay with that. It's taken me a lot of years to come to realise that I actually feel, that I live with a body that tells me things about how I'm doing, and I'm starting to be able to process what that means. It's going to take a while ("and when you think you've got it, you haven't").

It has become very important for me to put the feeling of the feeling before acceptance of the justifications that I throw at the feeling. What do I mean? ... "I feel sad and irritable. Why? That's because ..." I'm trying to hold myself at that point. I don't need justifications or explanations to be able to sit with my sad-and-irritableness, and most the ones I would come up with in a sad and irritable state are likely to be a little inappropriate. I am out of balance, out of whack, discombobulated (great word, and yes, it's really a word!), in a place/with a feeling that makes it harder for me to practise the kind of gentleness that I would like. Harder, but hopefully not impossible, otherwise the world would be in a terrible state of chassis (oh, wait ...) ;)

So I'm a little adrift. There's a tension sitting in my chest, tightening my breathing just below my throat. My body is stiff (I'm about to head out for a walk, actually, as the morning sun on the mountains (ignore the blogger timemarks - I'm on GMT) is just yelling at me (gently!)), my eyes are puffy.

I like working with the idea that resistance, conflict, uncertainty, confusion, anger, sadness, irritability, bodyslump all present me with opportunities for listening more carefully, more appropriately to what's going on with me and my situation. Enter and turn. I can step into the bodyslump and just hang there, and then dance in there a little.

I'm trying the following thought-cycle to see how it works for me ... feel, identify, acknowledge, respect, respond, participate, and then back to feel.

Feel - sit with myself, be as still as I can right now, listen to my body, listen to the chatter of my head ... listening does not mean waiting to speak.

Identify - how am I feeling? how am I thinking? what have I been saying? what have I been doing? what are my colours? what are my tones? what my intensity? What have been the effects of what I have thought, said, and done? (suspending the question without seeking an answer as such ...)

Acknowledge - Yo, Feeling! Thinking! Saying! Doing! How are you doin'? Glad you could make it! Hey, that's a cool dress! ;)

Respect - You know something, you're okay, Feeling, Thinking, Saying, Doing. I'm fine with the ways that you happen as you happen to be. Do your thing, no pressure from me, wherever you're at is fine right now.

Understand - How does my situation happen to be this way and not some other ways?

So what's up, me? Have I been eating well? Um, no. Hmmm. Ah well, maybe I should just eat a bit better and sit this slump out for a couple of days. Maybe I don't need to find another cause or justification for this, but there are plenty banging at the door to join the party-pooping.

Might I be tired? Um, I would guess it's a major factor. Not eating well leads to not sleeping well ...

Have I been giving myself space? Um, no. I've been using the TV a lot as a narcotic distraction. Hmmm. Maybe it would do me good to go for a walk right now. But I have work to do!! It can wait. My world will not collapse in the thirty minutes it takes to go for a walk.

What's important to me? When? Where? How? With what effects? Who gets to say? Is my thinking in this situation Supermarket thinking? Did I take it off someone else's shelf and eat it without looking at the ingredients?

Okay, so I've taken stock of myself a little. Now I can take stock of the situation a little more. What's going on? How does the situation happen to be this way and not some other ways? Who else is involved? What's important to them? When? Where? How? With what effects? Who gets to say?

Respond - I don't feel great. I want to change that. I can change that. I am going to change that. Feeling, Thinking, Saying, Doing, you're okay, but you can come on board with this helpfulness deal, right? One order of gentleness okay with ye? You want sesame seeds with that?

Participate - I always-already make a difference, how am I making a difference? How might I be contributing to how I feel? How might I be participating in the dynamics that I am trying to counter, in and through the process of trying to make it all better?

Have I been thinking about my thinking? Is my thinking at the moment disrespectful of myself and my situation? Is my thinking dislocating me right now from what is actually happening? Am I ramping up, turning up the intensity of my feeling with the ways I am making sense of my situation right now?

Am I assuming that I should stand and fight, arm myself for a struggle? Am I trying to run away? Am I freezing, feeling paralysed? Am I trying to fix a problem? Am I trying to fill a gap, or saturate the scene? Am I simply giving in? (Am I, in other words, trying to do one of Fight, Fly, Freeze, Fix, Fill, or Fold?)

Do I have to think in any of these ways? Could I think about all of this some other ways? Could I maybe even simply relax and work on the feeling part and just let that sit there for a while? Maybe I could work a bit more helpfully at the feel-acknowledge-identify-respect part?

Could I go for more Organic thinking rather than heading straight to the Supermarket all the time? Can I be more careful about where my thinking comes from and what it does to my body?

What's been important to me? Am I expecting too much of myself or other people? Am I trying to control myself or others in ways that are disrespectful? Am I respecting where others are at and what's important to them? Maybe I would like them to think like me, but am I trying to make them think like me? It's okay for me to hope that things might be different, but am I leaving room for things to be different from the difference I would like to make?

Am I allowing myself space and time so that when emotionally intense situations arise I can be calm within myself and robust, in a gentle sort of way? Have I been distracting myself from where I'm at and how I'm at?

Do I trust myself emotionally as much as others seem to trust me this week? I'm not sure, but I think it would be good for me to settle and feel with more ground, more feet on ground, more plantedness. I'll be a more helpful listener for others if I listen to myself and my situation more respectfully. Respect. I think that's the hardest bit. Balancing the 'everything's okay' with the 'I can make a helpful difference'. There's a balance there, I can feel it. Sometimes I feel it a bit far away, that's all.

Not quite as sad. Still irritable :) Off to walk, listen, and feel. :))

Inner Swearing Is Not Gentleness

Tonight I want to write about gentleness to help me find it. I was calm, deep breathing, quite balanced in my body at work all day. This evening as my tiredness mounts I attack the mountain of dishes in the kitchen without much sublety, presence or gentleness at all. I do a rather schlock job, with loud clanks and bangs. Impatient. Sighing. Inner swearing.

I am not an expert on gentleness. Sometimes I can flow through the simple delights and ordinary moments of life with a gentle heart but it is not a constant inner state for me. Feeling like I have "too much to do" often feels like a form of inner violence....a pushing and a willing that creates stress, not gentleness.

Nothing is so strong as gentleness

Some lines from the life of Francis de Sales (1567-1622) , a man who seems to have lived with gentleness and evangelical righteousness, always an interesting mix, (although not a coupling I would be fond of myself):

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing is so gentle as real strength."

“Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.”

Pain and Transformation

A list-colleague elsewhere on the internet communicated that he was quite taken by words from his mentor who said that, "If you are not transformed by your pain, you will transmit it! Transformed people transform people. Hurt people hurt people!"

Reflecting a moment on this from my own place and space, while respecting its importance to him ...

I think I go along with the first bit, more or less but I'm just wondering about 'transformed people' who hurt and 'hurt people' who transform. I think it's helpful to leave room for those people too! :) I also wonder about who would get to declare that the transformation has achieved '-ed' status (transform-ed) . I like 'transforming people (often/can) transform people', which elicits an internal 'duh!' moment for me, but I think that's the point. Also, in a similar vein, 'hurting people (often/can) hurt people' (also duh!, but I'll give that duh! a little hug). I'm just a little wary of my tendency to acquiesce to labelling people, and I think if I label someone as hurt rather than hurting I feel that I leave less room for the transformations of hurting by hardening the moment a little...? Not sure. Anybody with me on this or am I floating away on a doobilysquidgy?

Free associating, Victor Frankl once remarked, 'that which is to give light must endure burning'. While my romantic soul shouts a resounding Yeah! my heart puts the word 'often' between 'must' and 'endure'. As far as the Frankl saying goes, there really are people in this world who have not suffered great pain and who nonetheless give great light. I've met a couple. I think it's really important not to make pain or suffering 'necessary' for transformation. As I've said before on this blog, I find that ways of talking about experience in terms of 'necessity' tend to serve as justifications for unhelpful thinking and relating. I'm more a fan of 'helpful' as a qualifier, as it invites the question 'helpful for what?'. 'Necessary' doesn't tend to invite too much exploration.

Education?

A friend on a social ecology list got me thinking about education today ...

I find that I have held on to the notion of 'education', but when I think about education I think first of all that my job as an educator is not to spread a message but to offer an attitude of invitation, not to fill empty vessels but to invite a tone of respect in which people can step into their own space, remembering the words of Maya Angelou: "People will forget what you say, they will forget what you do, but they never will forget how you make them feel." I also find it helpful to think about differences between education and inculcation. 'Education', etymologically, can still leave room for that sense of invitation (more so than 'pedagogy', I have just learned!) and of nurturing. ('Inculcate' (see below), in passing, often used as a synonym for 'educate', is pretty oppressive.)

I also keep in mind what an Irish journalist Tom McGurk once wrote, (paraphrasing) that it doesn't matter so much what you say as what you mean. That continually challenges me to think about that moment in the Patch Adams movie where Robin Williams manages to look past the fingers to see what others couldn't (I recommend to everyone to watch the movie if you haven't already. I met someone this week who knows the real Patch. How cool is that?). I try now to look past the words and find the attitudes, in thinking about what others do, and more challenging, in thinking about how I think about what I do. I often self-identify as an educator, but I seek to have that make sense for me in ways that don't rub against the grain of the invitational responsiveness that I try to foster in myself.

When it comes to radical or critical pedgaogy (see Hope Archive no. 4) (I am now re-evaluating the word 'pedagogy' ...), people often stop at Freire, but there are more radical voices out there, interested less in reforming the institutional limitations of what's there through raising consciousness and more in starting from a different position, really confronting the embedded oppressions of certain institutional forms that many still consider to be adequate 'education'. Ivan Illich is one of the first that comes to mind. I think it's worth finding allies among those voices. Most recently I am taken by, for example, the work of Peter McClaren in Critical Pedagogy and Predatory Culture (1995). He's a lecturer in a university (as are many of us!) (and working also within a Freirean tradition, among many others) but still one of many powerful voices for political critique and helpfully transformative invitation.

From www.etymonline.com:

educate
1447, from L. educatus, pp. of educere "bring up, rear, educate," related to educere "bring out," from ex- "out" + ducere "to lead" (see duke). Meaning "provide schooling" is 1588. Educationese "the jargon of school administrators" is from 1966; educrat first attested 1968, usually pejorative, second element from bureaucrat (q.v.). Educable is from 1845. Educated guess first attested 1954.

pedagogue
1387, "schoolmaster, teacher," from O.Fr. pedagogue "teacher of children," from L. paedagogus "slave who escorted children to school and generally supervised them," later "a teacher," from Gk. paidagogos, from pais (gen. paidos) "child" + agogos "leader," from agein "to lead" (see act). Hostile implications in the word are at least from the time of Pepys. Pedagogy is 1583 from M.Fr. pédagogie, from Gk. paidagogia "education, attendance on children," from paidagogos "teacher."

inculcate
1550, from L. inculcatus, pp. of inculcare "force upon, stamp in," from in- "in" + calcare "to tread, press in," from calx "heel."

Crafting gentleness ...

Hi Shelley, and welcome aboard! :)

The crafting part of it is very much for me a way to talk about that way in which we always-already make a difference, that in 'crafting' we cannot helpfully but participate, listen, and respond to how we are doing what we are doing. Importantly, for me, a key value in 'crafting' is this idea of helpfulness (instead of the more static 'right' or 'wrong') - if it's not working it's not working, so try to work out a more helpful way of doing it (often one that many people have worked out before and the wisdom is there if you look ...). I turn to Dr Phil for his 'how is that working for ya?' at many times ;) Also 'crafting' is so much about attitude, and holding space. I love that.

I'll be posting some of the things I find in the books I've been reading on craft and crafting as I go, and always happy to hear about what others find! :)

Intentions

This is Shelley writing from Vancouver, Canada. I am always rather amazed at the connections that happen on this "worldwide web" that we all weave. How we invoke such qualities as gentleness by writing, by reaching out, by intending. Anthony invited me to post here after happening upon my blog. I have been meditating quite alot on the qualities of gentleness recently so I am glad that our intentions have met in the mystery. Crafting Gentleness. Isn't this a lovely title? To me it implies a long, slow enterprise with plenty of time to imprint it with our own unique hand.

Gentle Teaching

One thing that's really great about web-surfing is that I sometimes come across people doing work that just makes my heart warm, and lets me know that there are plenty of people out there doing work that daily reaffirms the power of gentleness in living invitation.

Such is the case with Gentle Teaching International. To paraphrase from a Gentle Teaching companion resources site, this organisation and the concept of gentle teaching is based on the writing and work of John J. McGee. It's a nonviolent and non-aversive approach to caregiving that works to create feelings of safety and love in the context of a community of true companionship and interdependence. John McGee's work has been most often applied in settings where caregivers work with people with mental illness, developmental disabilities, illnesses associated with aging, and with people in the criminal justice system.

Yay!! :))

They have a conference in Ghent (Belgium) in September that I hope I can attend for a day or two.

Cheep and cheerful

There's a certain joy in sitting at this table in my recently-designated study to the backdrop of birds cheeping cheerfully in my chimney. They are clearly holding congress on some vitally important issues, clicking and whirring and chitting and cheeping and whooping and swooping. I shall not be lighting a fire there any time soon.

A device to check surgeon's gentleness

New York, 20 May, 2006: An Indian American doctor and his American colleague have invented a device that will help detect gentleness in the course of a surgical procedure. ...

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1539588.cms

Two Countries

by Naomi Shihab Nye

Skin remembers how long the years grow
when skin is not touched, a gray tunnel
of singleness, feather lost from the tail
of a bird, swirling onto a step,
swept away by someone who never saw
it was a feather. Skin ate, walked,
slept by itself, knew how to raise a
see-you-later hand. But skin felt
it was never seen, never known as
a land on the map, nose like a city,
hip like a city, gleaming dome of the mosque
and the hundred corridors of cinnamon and rope.

Skin had hope, that's what skin does.
Heals over the scarred place, makes a road.
Love means you breathe in two countries.
And skin remembers--silk, spiny grass,
deep in the pocket that is skin's secret own.
Even now, when skin is not alone,
it remembers being alone and thanks something larger
that there are travelers, that people go places
larger than themselves.

from Words Under the Words:
Selected Poems by Naomi Shihab Nye.

Interview with the poet: "[Ordinary words] have a weight that I recognize that helps me stay balanced."

In light of my 'disappearing' post, I notice that Naomi reads a poem in this interview called 'The Art of Disappearing', which speaks very much to some of what I was trying to say.

Please also read her letter "To Any Would-Be Terrorists."

Another thought for the day ...

Duke Aldhein's blog carries an excerpt from the Financial Times editorial of the 11th August which includes the line "The most powerful answer to terrorism is not to be terrified." Maybe not an answer, but very likely a helpful initial response ...

Soul-surfing

I've been hanging out with a lot of gentle people recently, and just came back from hanging out with more, and to be honest it can be a little disconcerting for me! :) There's no obvious or easy way for me to get a strong sense of a distinct self when the other person who is there with me in relationship leaves room for me in a gentle way. That leaves me the possible options of putting up a few barriers and tensing it all up in order to guarantee that dubious distinction, which I sometimes do in subtle ways, or letting go and trying to be less of a 'what' and more of a 'how', trying to listen more without waiting to speak, trying to settle into the presence of the other person. The disconcerting part is that, when I managed it a bit, it was like the personalities of the other people almost 'disappeared' at the same time as I encountered them more fully as people. Soul-surfing. Like, cool :)

No Name Club

Ever happy to glean ideas from dubious sources, I was glancing at that dreadful movie The Bulletproof Monk (BPM) as I was skimming the TV channels the other day and became intrigued by the BPM's practice of dropping his name (and not replacing it with another) at the highest level of his training. It made think about the way that our names allow us to be referred to when we are not present, and that names aren't always terribly important when we are present. And if we are always present to ourselves then ...? Still thinking ...

The Bulletproof Monk is all heart. (BPM. Geddit?)

Moderation is the key to mastery

Read this today in "God is a Verb: Kabbalah" and had to share.

'Moderation is the key to mastery. One approaches it slowly. It is not difficult if we are gentle. We cannot force ourselves into a moderate lifestyle, because force and moderation are contradictory terms. Rather, we can embrace moderation in increments, and the excess baggage of our lives will slowly melt away."

I just like the imagery of melting baggage - picturing chocolate suitcases makes me smile.*g*
Soooz

Sufficiency

[Sooz: Enough understanding, enough thought, enough speech, enough action]

I was deeply moved by William H. Macy on Inside the Actors Studio one day. As an actor he isn't well known for taking on emotionally effusive parts, but he got very emotional, speaking with a barely veiled anger, in a spirit of enthusiastic and almost embittered indignation, saying what one of his teachers had told him that he felt all young actors needed to hear:

"You are sufficient!!"

It felt to me like he was also shouting to the world in a spirit of transformation, "It doesn't have to be this way!"

The Way

Hello All,

First post. Yes I actually worked out how to do it (hooray *g*).

Soooz here: posting from sunny Sydney Australia. Sitting in my room, which is still a mess after moving in a few weeks ago. My cat Mishi is watching my fingers type and is being lulled into a stupor, or perhaps she is going to pounce? It's a lazy Sunday morning: except that I have to tidy my room and make it somewhat functional. Had my first coffee, second one is on the way.

I was wondering... 'wonder-ing' about gentleness and what it means to me. After all we still, in the english language, have the expression 'gentle'man but it seems 'gentle'woman is no longer part of the vocabulary. Without starting a battle of the sexes does that mean woman are naturally gentle and men are not? (goodness...)

After my womens spirituality group meeting yesterday, I made a pact with myself to approach this first post with a 'beginners mind' a return to innocence.

What keeps coming up for me is how 'gentle'ness is ingrained in spiritual teachings. In the eastern traditions it is 'yoga: a way of moving into stillness in order to experience the truth of who you are'. It is also called the 'tao: the way, that the world is not a setter of traps but a teacher of valuable lessons. Its lessons need to be learned just as its laws need to be followed. Rather than turn away from the world of dust one would join the dust of the world'.

Although very much a pagan (neo-pagan) of the Celtic traditions ('an harm no one, do what you will') as an ex Christian 'the ten commandments' also speak of these gentle truths of how to co-create existance in 'harmony' - not one voice but many.

My absolute favourite for 'gentle' instruction is buddism. The eightfold path: Right Understanding, Right Thought, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, Right Concentration. You need to choose your thoughts wisely, your thoughts determine your speech, your speech determines your action, your action creates the world.

Being someone who finds the dualism of right and wrong rather tedious: I am going to rename the paths to 'enough'. Enough understanding, enough thought, enough speech, enough action... and so on. I think it was Kathryn herself *tips hat to Kathryn* who sent me a lovely email about having enough.

Having enough happiness to make life worth living, having enough sadness to savour the good stuff, enough love, enough money, enough....

My flatmate Viv has just popped her head through the door to ask 'if I'm winning' well yes, but I do need to do my room now. My cat has moved, I must also go...

Love to all, merry meet, it's good to be here.
Soooz

Inner voice, memo to self

"Hold the space, ya feckin' eejit, hold the space".

Post from Kathryn

Somehow this ended up in the archives as a comment on the first ever post ... I must check that out ... [Ant.]

A big warm hug to Anthony and all here,and a thank you for making me feel special (once again) by inviting me to be part of these sharings! ('once again' because I still glow at the thought of hearing you say "I am really glad you exist Kathryn", and trying to come to terms with believing that of myself in a deeper sense. Oh, and I even told my mum and she cried!)

Sometimes when things seem very big I like to start at the beginning, which has turned out to be a great place for me to begin in these blogs.

For a few a reasons really, one being that words...the right words, the power of words and feeling that I may not have those right words, often silences me from speaking in cyber space and non-cyber space...so I have taken a lot of comfort in the resonances of reading your words...that it is the relationships that matter more.
The other being related to that, in that I sometimes get carried away in needing to communicate 'my truth' or beliefs and loose perspective yet again that the relationships involved are more important...and trying to get the balance between the two.

It strengthens me to remember that the relationships count more, because it frees me from feelings of inadequacy.

I look forward to more readings and writings!

love
Kath
Thursday, 10 August, 2006

like, dude, like woah

I suppose I prefer thinking in terms of resonances and rapport rather than bounded group identity or movements of any sort, trying to come to terms with the always-alreadiness of relationship in ways that never need leave me lonely, without needing to feel part of a club. There are always people out there transforming their lives and others' lives in wonderful ways, with attitudes that resonate in ways that I aspire to hang with. I keep them in mind. I assume that I make a difference, and I find it a helpful assumption, but I find it hard to maintain that assumption unless I also maintain that I am part of the play of influences that happens in a happening kind of way, like, dude, like woah.

'Movements' may happen (as major confluence-resonances of attitude and energy), but they are more likely to be helpful, I think, if people don't identify them as movements along the way! ;) (note the frequency of how people across the world speak about 'The Movement' in relation to activisms of various sorts - there are some interesting critiques of the prejudices and exclusions of 'Feminist Movement' discourses around which help here. Check out Caroline Ramazanoglu' s 1989 book the name of which I can't remember.) Too many temptations otherwise for personal journeys to become twisted into prescriptive bricks for the walls of religious, ecological, or spiritual imperialism (among many other sorts). I find that by just not allowing revolution or evolution narratives, for example, to have importance in my life, the gravity of the black hole of violence, coercion, domination, and oppression lessens just a little in my life, opening up space for more transformative and intuitive helpfulnesses in the company of wonder and the wonder of good company. Other may find them helpful, fair enough, but I just don't. I just don't ascribe to (r)evolution as a helpful way of making sense of my experience (I have my reasons, but they would take a while). I think it's a lot more interesting, a lot more challenging than that, and I'm curious to investigate how :)

But I also think I can fall into the trap of hypervigilance, when I take unhelpful thinking as some sort of contamination that I need to root out. Gotta keep in mind: attitude, not goal. Dominances, not all or nothing (I work with the idea that it's about what kind of thinking/doing dominate and therefore have greatest influence on attitude/disposition). If I can lessen the pull of unhelpful gravities in my life, if I can attend to the character of my attitude, of how I tend to be in the world ...? Who knows. Horses for courses. Sometimes it may well be appropriate to hang with thinking that might be otherwise unhelpful, if it means sharing company with people that you love, or leaving space for you to be less harsh with yourself.

If the words and ideas become more important than the character of the relationship where I am at, where I happen to be, then what am I playing at? Loving respect works better that interesting words or ideas any day, I would hope, and I would hope that some words and ideas can get me closer to loving respect.

Importance. Do I invest unhelpful thinking with an unhelpful degree of importance, 'positively' or 'negatively'?

In passing, I find there's little place for absolutes among friends, little place for nit-picky thinking among friends, little place for righteousness among friends, and even less place for these among intimate companions. I wish I'd worked that out a long time ago.

Trying to be a loving human being can be hard sometimes. No blame, no shame, no guilt, milk spilt. Start where you are.

Stress

I find it really interesting how stress sneaks up on me, and then starts inviting all the unhelpful thinking round for a drink. It's sometimes not until I start finding myself doing or saying things I barely recognise that I get any idea that there's a significant change taking place. At least at the moment I hope I am vigilant enough to just notice it, respect it, and take my thinking with a grain of salt (i.e. not take it too seriously) until the stress subsides a little. To parathink a friend, it's not likely a great idea to be thinking serious thoughts when you aren't in a position of emotional strength. To paraphrase another one, if it's coming from a place of fear, it may be instinct, but it's not intuition.

Hyde Park from the air

Just to continue that thought below ...

I was watching the news last night and they were showing the major shifts in the ecological landscape of London, which could only really be seen from the air: Hyde Park is now pretty much a desert; the canals are choked with duckweed (eutrophication); the reservoirs are drying up. Okay, so there's the distant view, providing us with a descriptive engagement with change. Now, if we were to try to understand how that situation happens to be the way it is and not some other way, then the distant view doesn't help much any more. Neither does it help for working out what attitude or approach we might adopt in trying to come to a more helpful engagement with the situation. But as a descriptive starting point a view from afar can be helpful, so long as we don't stop there but keep going towards an ecological engagement with relationship generally and especially an engagement with ourselves particularly, ethically, and politically.

It's like my take on anthropology - I don't find out about other people's lives to just find out how they live and satisfy my curiosity. I find out how other people make sense of their lives so that I can more helpfully make sense of my own, and more helpfully make sense of the possibilities of my own negotiations of relationships.

Major Shifts and Transitions

"the prevalence of this kind of thinking in ecological/spiritual circles makes me more rather than less likely to consider it helpful"

[Dougald: should that be "less rather than more", or have I misread it?]

Aye :)

[Dougald: I love "construmption" which conjures up images of construmpets... :)]

Now, now, be good ;)

[Dougald: But (and I know you've tried to answer this for me before) does this mean there's no room for talking in large historical terms, attempting to describe major shifts or transitions?]

There's plenty of room, work away, just that I don't really go there myself. For me, I don't find any need to speak in such terms. Sometimes I find it interesting to consider how what might be identified as major trends play out in the micropolitics of everyday life, working with the caveat that statistics and broad strokes, in my thinking, tend to really misrepresent what actually happens, often by displacing the messiness of everyday life with the clarity of abstracted, depeopled narratives (or metanarratives, if you will). When the narratives we use don't require any person in particular and could be speaking about anybody, anywhere, then I find them unhelpful. Does that make sense? I haven't articulated that as I feel it. Close, but not quite.

It's about effects for me. Does a progress narrative help me get a better sense of how I might always-already make a difference in transformatively helpful ways, or does it lead me to think that I'm one of many getting swept along on a wave of evolution and improvement, or getting left behind should I not measure up to the criteria that certain people (usually in institutional positions of power) would claim to be the yardstick criteria for that progress. Progress? According to whom? According to which criteria?

Transformations for me are more helpfully considered at the level of the everyday, in relationships, attitudes. When people use really broad narratives they seem to me to simply reduce/abstract relationships while still claiming to speak adequately about the dynamics of those relationships. It's like someone standing on a hill and pointing at the group of people on the far hill and determining what's important to them and how their lives work on the basis of distant observation. Fine, if all you want to do is talk about how people look upon a far hill from your own hill, but not so helpful if you want to talk about how to make, (or how they can make!) a transformative difference in their lives.

Progress narratives aren't designed as muck-in narratives of transformation and relationship. They tend to celebrate distant points of view, often the classic Archimedean perspective, the view from nowhere in particular. They tend to celebrate a coherence which tends to be, for me, a disrespectful reading of how happening happens. They tend, for me, to remain unsubstantiated and unsubstantiable (on account of the level of abstraction from actual experience - the causal/effectual leap from macrostructural to microstructural tends to be just too large to bridge with anything other than bald rhetoric) (although, because of such leaps, such narratives can often be 'justifed' and hence seem 'justifiable'. But that just means someone offered a justification, it doesn't necessarily mean that the justification is adequate or helpful). I'm interested not so much in 'views' from somewhere (the dominance of the visual metaphor still implying a certain distance), but experiences/feelings from somewhere among somewho (not my best neologism!).

Identifying major shifts or transitions is for me simply an invitation to look/interrogate more closely, whereupon the assumption of 'major shifts' and 'transitions' is then dispensed with, those construmptions having been helpful as signposts or pointers, but not beyond that. If we cannot take our understanding of situations down to the level of attitude and relationship and interaction I believe we will likely find it very difficult to find a doorway through which to step in order to include our participation in situations.

Do we locate the primary forces/centres of politics, change, agency, and hope somewhere which is not *here*? To the extent that we do, to that extent I find such thinking unhelpful, and our contribution subtly, or not so subtly, disempowered, diminished, burdened, enclosinged (ouch).

While I may not believe in revolutions ...

I do believe in the power of knowing that there are people with like mind out there doing helpful things. The wonders of helpful rapport. I found this Robert Frost poem last week, 'A Tuft of Flowers' (1915):

I went to turn the grass once after one
Who mowed it in the dew before the sun.

The dew was gone that made his blade so keen
Before I came to view the leveled scene.

I looked for him behind an isle of trees;
I listened for his whetstone on the breeze.

But he had gone his way, the grass all mown,
And I must be, as he had been,—alone,

‘As all must be,’ I said within my heart,
‘Whether they work together or apart.’

But as I said it, swift there passed me by
On noiseless wing a ’wildered butterfly,

Seeking with memories grown dim o’er night
Some resting flower of yesterday’s delight.

And once I marked his flight go round and round,
As where some flower lay withering on the ground.

And then he flew as far as eye could see,
And then on tremulous wing came back to me.

I thought of questions that have no reply,
And would have turned to toss the grass to dry;

But he turned first, and led my eye to look
At a tall tuft of flowers beside a brook,

A leaping tongue of bloom the scythe had spared
Beside a reedy brook the scythe had bared.

I left my place to know them by their name,
Finding them butterfly weed when I came.

The mower in the dew had loved them thus,
By leaving them to flourish, not for us,

Nor yet to draw one thought of ours to him.
But from sheer morning gladness at the brim.

The butterfly and I had lit upon,
Nevertheless, a message from the dawn,

That made me hear the wakening birds around,
And hear his long scythe whispering to the ground,

And feel a spirit kindred to my own;
So that henceforth I worked no more alone;

But glad with him, I worked as with his aid,
And weary, sought at noon with him the shade;

And dreaming, as it were, held brotherly speech
With one whose thought I had not hoped to reach.

‘Men work together,’ I told him from the heart,
‘Whether they work together or apart.’

The Great Turning

A friend (hi Kathryn) sent me an email with the following in it, written by Joanna Macy, a Buddhist teacher and deep ecologist:

"The Great Turning invites us to lift our eyes from the cramped closet of short-term thinking and see the larger historical landscape. What a difference it makes to view our efforts as part of a vast enterprise, a tidal change commensurate to the crisis we face. What is underway, as many have observed, is a revolution that is comparable in magnitude to the agricultural revolution of the late Neolithic and the industrial revolution of the past two centuries. As the industrial-growth society spins out of control comes the third revolution, which is even now given names, like the ecological or sustainability revolution, or the Great Turning. While the first two revolutions, as former EPA administrator William Ruckelshaus reflects, were gradual, spontaneous, and largely unconscious, this (third) one will have to be a fully conscious operation. If we actually do it, the undertaking will be absolutely unique in humanity's stay on Earth."

I am personally really wary of this kind of thinking. In some ways, for me it reproduces a quasi-Marxian, quasi-evolutionist, quasi-evangelical progress paradigm, structurally/ narratively speaking. One of the key reasons I find this kind of thinking unhelpful, apart from the chronological linearity of it (cloaked by the cyclical metaphor of 'turning'), is that it seems to implicitly invite those people who are ecologically inclined to think about themselves as some sort of vanguard (no accident that vanguard is a military metaphor), and there's plenty in history to suggest that that's not going to lead to a whole load of roses, primarily because people involved in vanguards have a tendency to throw the word 'should' around a lot, and have also a tendency to LOVE institutional forms (often thought of as counter-institution s, nonetheless) and 'movement' metaphors, which very quickly can descend into party-politics and activistism.

Also, the prevalence of this kind of thinking in ecological/spiritual circles makes me less rather than more likely to consider it helpful - I have never thought democracy/majority rule to be a good yardstick for helpful thinking, and really popular structures of thinking (like this one) tend to be mirrored and doubled a lot across often competing discourses, which is always fascinating to watch. The people we critique use this thinking too! Such structures also tend to locate agency and the power of helpful transformation primarily way beyond us, in some 'natural' process that we simply 'join'. I don't find that helpful.

One way I think this kind of thinking can be helpful to me is to think about turnings and evolutions and revolutions at the level of the person, in my own journey. That works for me, maybe. If I extend the idea beyond myself it can often be an invitation to very subtle arrogances, as I see it, and no little disempowerment of myself and others. And if I consider any of those narratives as anything other than retrospective descriptions of how my life has turned out, then that invitation repeats itself. If I extend the function of those narrative frames to what hasn't yet happened, then for me that's disrespectful of the possibilities of happening. Otherwise, if I'm having a hard time getting with the Evolution Program then it's easy for me to think that I'm simply not good enough or if it's someone else that's not getting with The Programme then it's easy for me to think that they are simply not good enough. I find that thinking neither helpful nor desirable. Actually, now I think about it, I pretty much don't like using these narratives to make sense of my life at all. (Are reductionist retrospective linear narratives respectful of my life relationships and my variable attitudes to date? Not for me.)

I'm not going to champion any movement, party, or large-scale construmption ('assumed construct', just made it up :) without knowing the values and attitudes of the people involved. If there are too many people involved for me to know that, then I'm not supporting whatever is happening there. Hence my reluctance to unequivocally support protest marches. What people say they are involved in as activists often assumes the presence of an attitude of helpful goodness, but what really happens, when we take a look at relationships, attitudes, effects, and consequences, tends to be a lot more complicated than that. I will champion values and attitudes, but I tend to champion little in terms of what people do when it lies beyond my zone of proximity.

Food

I have noticed that it's a lot harder to be gentle when I've been slipping back into my sugar-binges. My thinking goes to pot, as they say, and the downward spiral opens out like a gaping black hole. It took all my strength to chuck out the ice-cream and the biscuits, but if they're not there I can't eat them! :)

circles of gentleness

experiences are gentle ripples on the thresholds of our self
welcome back, i hope pleasures from your trip are still vibrant enough to give a positive hue to settling 'back', although the settling is not a return but is still moving 'forward'... well, that's how unhelpful i find language...:) it's much more interesting to make sense of real life...

i find that any decision, any position one may decide to take, i.e. any transition point in life can be sketched as a line (direction) which crosses a circle (range of possibilities). and the diagonal that crosses a circle in two cardinal points is a set of directions.

so when in a central position (asking a question which has a range of answers), one has a choice of direction: it does not mean that any given problem is just black and white with only two outputs but instead, that two lines of approaches / directions are at hand and within one direction, degrees of modulation are possible. opposite directions has always been represented as +/- but here i would rather avoid simplistic interpretations (positive vs negative or male vs female) and present this opposition in such terms: + represents reinforcement through harmonic resonance, it is the principle of positive feedback whereas - represents interference, a variation of signal which is in the long run 'destructive' in its non-comforming (non-confirming) effect, i.e. negative feedback.

you see, shades of grey start to appear and form a spectrum of interactions. so even on a stark checkerboard of opposites, there is hope...
back to real life situations, we find gentleness in balance, in comfort and harmony. and from this central position in the circle, one can position each thought or each action in degrees of intensity towards the extremety of the circle, so that each point/decision within the circle is defined by x and y axes with positions further from the centre representing greater modulation / velocity, that is away from the gentle way.

so, you get it now, one can never remain totally central; this would be boring and predictable, somehow a denial of responsibility or interest in relation to the outside / our environment. but in every choice of direction, there is a direct line to follow and there are degrees of appropriateness, from the gentle to the extreme, from coherence to emotional chaos. (a more realistic representation would be to use a sphere so that positioning is defined by a set of three parameters but let us keep this sketch simple and look at the componants of our two dimentional circle of possibilities):
the compass is the self at any point in time. the circle is that act of considering the moment, of considering options within the moment.
i would like to postulate the vertical line (north south direction) is time, a constant force pushing forward (N), inviting a constant motion in time informed by what happened in the South, in the past. this is not a spacial representation. the horizontal line (W-E), is internal, that is it represents the exchange of information between left and right hemisphere of the brain. harmony within this parameter happens when [data] returned by the [right brain] after sounding out [memory] reinforces data forwarded by the [left brain]. in greater details, incoming information is passed through the senses and is distributed in the brain in order to 'resonate' information present in the form of memory, which is either reinforced, confirmed or contradicted and diffused.

let us now postulate that the gentle way, as described by eastern philosophy, is the central position which offers the best range of possibilities out of the whole circle, does not enclose us in biais... so that one lives fully in the now, in awareness of the political environment and of one's state and emotional reactions. from the optimal (i am here purposefully avoiding the western misinterpretation of 'perfection' as absolute) position, modulations are caused by fields of attraction, magnets of activity which divert us away from 'magnetic north' and takes every motion forward slightly off skelter. the 'magnet' is made up of belief systems enforced by patterns of dysfunctional behaviour.
the above described dysfunction would mean that our example model would live in the now and take every decisions while being displaced from the optimum central position. so for instance, an individual who tends to resent visiting their past (lack of confidence in one's experience and one's emotions) and live in the rigidity of a present informed solely by external stimuli whose absolute and perdictable existance is solid proof of one's beliefs and a justification of one's thought processes. this example shows a predominance of left brain activity while also rejecting the effect of time that is the benefits of experience, a resentment of the past which also affects one's attitude to the future, i.e. change. we will represent this within our circle of possibilities with A', the alternative to the central A where A'=-x,-y. nubers on both axes are in the negative as they interfere with the principle of reinforcement and forward motion. now we can safely state that once one's dysfunction is set (through coherent reinforcement), the same degree of variation will apply to further motion / decision making, affecting one's path with every 'insignificant' moment so that the 'modulation' and the dyscrepancies reinforce themselves. by always turning left at the crossroads, you will soon discover you are running in circles. these are the loops of compulsion. A' is consistantly kept away from A by the use of fragmenting walls, that is by securing defined zones of comfort. this illusion of comfort (in one's intellectual behaviour) and the presence of walls (psycological term fragmentation belongs to the discourse of the ego, together with transfer/displacement, that is denial) is what, i believe, anthony describes as enclosures.

the current political situation is not 'crazy' as such, it is not even surprising since all parties are coherent and predictable in their positioning. yet, the dispute over ownership of land and flow of resources remains bound to the extreme periphery of a circle by existing political positions and the tensions this generates which all, consistently, push/pull away from the central gentle position never considered an option. (so the us (with britain tagging along) will always hide their resentment of failed dominion and their aggression behing the fallacy of peace keeping and war on terror. they are not friendly, they are not invading to help, and we all know that fear, however disguised, is the tool for subjection and colonisation. terror-ism has to be another -ISM american fad).
i suppose that attachement/locking (in)to such an extreme positioning is what you would call a situation of enclosure (one strongly believes they have no choice and so justify a dysfunctional decision). i find interesting that enclosure emplies a retreat inwards, that one is being bound, closed in from within by the very walls one constructs in order to control their path. ironically, i find that enclosures (if represented in space / in relation to the self) are not locking us in (into deeper patterns of behaviour) and instead pushes us outwards, towards extremes of behaviours, away from our inner sense of purpose (see also the heartmath research for instance: http://www.heartquotes.net/coherence.html).

and i will clarify here, that this discrepancy is due to thinking in two opposed planes of existance:
the behavioural patterns which lead us to enclosure are manifestations in the Symbolic Order where reality is inverted so that behaviours which bind us in mentally (bound into repeating such patterns), in the Order of the Real, are actually leading us outwards, toward extremes of behaviour which alienate us from our coherent selves, from our inner sense of purpose which i believe is imprinted in the architecture of our body-mind-energy form. the vicious circle of self abuse and self-esteem hacking is closed... compulsive negative feedback as willful destruction - in a way which is hardly conceivable (hence pre-emptying chances of resolution), since the 'vicious cycle' pans both Symbolic and Real Orders of a 'fragmented' self.

the gentle way is always whispered by the heart, not barked out by the controlling mind.
the gentle way lies in listening and learning to hear.
sndsukinspook