Soul-surfing

I've been hanging out with a lot of gentle people recently, and just came back from hanging out with more, and to be honest it can be a little disconcerting for me! :) There's no obvious or easy way for me to get a strong sense of a distinct self when the other person who is there with me in relationship leaves room for me in a gentle way. That leaves me the possible options of putting up a few barriers and tensing it all up in order to guarantee that dubious distinction, which I sometimes do in subtle ways, or letting go and trying to be less of a 'what' and more of a 'how', trying to listen more without waiting to speak, trying to settle into the presence of the other person. The disconcerting part is that, when I managed it a bit, it was like the personalities of the other people almost 'disappeared' at the same time as I encountered them more fully as people. Soul-surfing. Like, cool :)