Five things

Ah, Llij, tagged I be, eh?

Okay, I'll bite. Five things that ye don't know about me:

i) I wear my Dad's slippers (and he wears mine - shoe size issue)

ii) I only finish about 10% of the books I start (apparently Rousseau has a line somewhere about this, something about books being there to provide thoughts to run with, and once you get a runnable thought the book may be left down and life lived ... must find it so I can quote it properly to justify my inadequacies with authoritative support)

iii) I once (many moons ago) earned an Irish Table Tennis Association teacher's certificate (I have never taught anyone, though)

iv) I despise brussel sprouts (unless they are fresh, fresh, fresh)

v) I can make enough animal noises with suitable credibility to amuse any two year old (if you should doubt this, I have a box of affadavits ...)

I must go and tag a few people ... :)

Walking slower

I think for me that walking more slowly is one of the most practical things I can do to become more present. Each to their own.

Near Death Experience

So, yesterday I skidded on black ice, avoided the edge into the valley on my left and crashed into the stone wall on the other side. Minor damage to the car, none to me. I wasn't going too fast, thankfully.

Someone else died in Northern Ireland last night after his car skidded on black ice.

delurking ...

Llij was wondering what's been going on with me. At the moment, lots of admin and marking of exam and essay scripts. Such is the life of the academic in between semesters.

I've been working really hard over Christmas on becoming more relaxed, more of a listener, better eater, etc. and it seems to be bearing fruit, though I have my slips. The place I'm in right now is a lot better than I was in before Christmas for many reasons, and I'm glad. I'm starting to play the guitar again, and learning a few new chord changes which is good for my beginner's mind. I may be about to buy a surfboard - turns out there are 4 keen surfers in my wee town, one of whom co-runs the surf shop - so the summer could involve a lot of exercise and wind and water.

I've been keeping half an eye on the incubator that is the Big Brother household in England. I haven't really been watching the show, but I have been following the debates and the international diplomatic incidents that have resulted from the show. It has long been surmised, indeed experimentally shown, that sticking people in a highly monitored, highly regulated, emotionally intense box will lead to unhelpful behaviours of various sorts. Futurist writers have suggested that suicide in the likes of the Big Brother household is on its way should the show develop in years to come, but this year we got to see bullying, racist abuse, and panic attacks. Never mind the parliament discussions and the near-riots in India. Constructing this environment is always likely to bring consequences such as the ones that happened, or worse. All for the sake of TV ratings, celebrity exposure, and advertising revenue.

http://www.bullying.co.uk/?gclid=CNXM7vrc7okCFShUEAod3DyMCg

http://news.independent.co.uk/people/profiles/article2137700.ece

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6274881.stm

the peculiar psychological grip war exerts on us

"So these are, in crude summary, the theories of war which modern wars have left us with: That war is a means, however risky, by which men seek to advance their collective interests and improve their lives. Or, alternatively, that war stems from subrational drives not unlike those that lead individuals to commit violent crimes. In our own time, most people seem to hold both views at once, avowing that war is a gainful enterprise, intended to meet the material needs of the groups engaged in it, and, at the same time, that it fulfills deep and "irrational" psychological needs. There is no question about the first part of this proposition - that wars are designed, at least ostensibly, to secure necessaries like land or oil or "geopolitical advantage." The mystery lies in the peculiar psychological grip war exerts on us." Barbara Ehrenreich, Blood Rites (1997).

The initial commitment falls on us ...

"The instillation of feelings of companionship calls on us to express warmth to those who are cold, affection to those who are emptied of feeling, tolerance of those who try to harm us, and authenticity to those who are constantly subjected to sterile programs. As caregivers, our first task is to initiate a process in which we and marginalized others learn to accept and express valuing. The initial commitment falls on us; otherwise the other is left unable to reach out. It begins in a one-to-one relationship that at first places us in a most difficult position since our desire to encourage those feelings in others are typically thwarted by acts of aggression, self-injury, or withdrawal. Unfortunately, many caregivers believe that since the person is "unresponsive to positive reinforcement" punishment has to ensue. And, thus, the idea of friendship has to be left for a later time. The paradox of interdependence is that we have to pass through these difficult moments of rejection in order to teach the meaning of companionship. If it were easy, there would be few behavior problems. Our belief in the dignity of the human condition is what sustains us in good times and hard times. The changes that gradually occur are mutual. Our giving is eventually reciprocated through the laces of affection that are woven in the emerging relationship."

John J. McGee and Frank J. Menolascino, Beyond Gentle Teaching: A Nonaversive Approach to Helping Those in Need (1991)

Academic Corruption, GMOs, and Monsanto

"Sir Richard Doll was a world-renowned British cancer specialist who passed away last year. It was Sir Richard who is noted for making the connection between smoking and lung cancer. It turns out that he was being paid for 20 years as a consultant by Monsanto, while not revealing this fact in his ''independent'' reports." More

http://www.mercola.com/articles/2006/dec/monsanto

Whitman

Will you seek afar off? You surely come back at last,
In things best known to you finding the best or as good as the best,
In folks nearest to you finding also the sweetest and strongest and lovingest,
Happiness not in another place, but this place .. not for another hour, but this hour,
Man in the first you see or touch .... always in your friend or brother or nighest neighbor .... Woman in your mother or lover or wife,
And all else thus far known giving place to men and women.

When the psalm sings instead of the singer,
When the script preaches instead of the preacher,
When the pulpit descends and goes instead of the carver that carved the supporting desk,
When the sacred vessels or the bits of the eucharist, or the lath and plast, procreate as effectually as the young silversmiths or bakers, or the masons in their overalls,
When a university course convinces like a slumbering woman and child convince,
When the minted gold in the vault smiles like the nightwatchman's daughter,
When warrantee deeds loafe in chairs opposite and are my friendly companions,
I intend to reach them my hand and make as much of them as I do of men and women.

Walt Whitman, from "A Song for Occupations", Leaves of Grass (1855)

I was just trying to be nice ...

A couple of weeks ago I decided to send an apology to someone that I was once very much in love with, many moons ago (for a brief period it had, to the best of my knowledge, been mutual). During my end-of-year self-assessment I realised that a communication to her a year ago had probably been stress-related (I was off work with stress shortly after that) or at least stress-influenced and I wanted to apologise if it had in any way offended her or left her feeling disrespected. I also used it as an opportunity to say good luck and goodbye, as I realised that it was long past time for me to draw that chapter to a proper close. I sent the letter care of an employer as I was unsure whether she would still be at the address I had for her. I checked with a number of friends whether they thought it was a good thing to do, and they said it was. Nila said 'meow'. That was good enough for me :)

I got the response by email this morning. It was short but clearly venomous, hissing at me to cease all contact with her and threatening that she would contact my own employer to tell them I was harrassing her if I did not do so. As far as I was aware I had just ceased all contact with her, and respectfully so.

It makes me sad there are some people in this world that maintain a really distorted image of me and then continue to relate to me on that basis. No matter that they are getting it so so wrong, that I was never the person they are making me out to be. That doesn't seem to make a difference. They insist on telling me who I am and what I'm like rather than simply asking me how I am or spending time to find out. I'm no saint, but at least I say what I mean and mean what I say, most of the time, and I endeavour to treat people I know and care about with a bit of respect. I try, and that's something, I suppose.

It's a lesson to learn about helpfulness, I imagine, but I can't think what the lesson might be. I still think it was a good thing to do, an attempt to make peace in a situation where I felt I'd screwed up, so I could move on. Still, it doesn't seem to have been very helpful, at least in the short term. Someone out there that I still care about hates me, and I just made it worse. But at least I've managed to say my goodbye in a manner that I was happy with, although I would have preferred to do it over a cup of coffee.

I was just trying to be nice.

I'm still glad she exists, and I wish her well.

The Importance of grounding understandings of hope in the actualities of everyday life

"Many traditional accounts [of hope] rightly emphasize hope's power to sustain us. When they ground this sustaining power in something unconditioned or absolute (and so beyond human agency), however, they undermine our active engagement in the life of hope. Theological accounts often (though not always) err in this way, rooting hope in God's absolute power so that we become mere bystanders or observers to this vital activity of human life. For instance, a colleague once told me that unless hope is grounded in the unconditioned, it is susceptible to the vagaries of finite conditioned existence that plague every other human activity. Hope, my colleague argued, needs to be able to live and survive in the darkest corners, at the darkest times. It needs to be that one indestructible resource which remains when all others are gone. Unless this is so, hope cannot sustain us. (Such a view shows the influence of the story of Pandora, who, upon removing the lid of the jar of gifts given by the gods, found that only hope remained.) Hope does need to sustain us, but insisting that it be able to do so in every possible situation is to drain it of actual connections with actual states of affairs. A hope whose realization can only or primarily be affected through an unconditioned supernatural agency leaves us with nothing to do but await its arrival." Patrick Shade, Habits of Hope (2001)