Crafting Gentleness

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Writing gentleness

Welcome to the crafting gentleness weblog. This may or may not work as a regular blog (my history with such things is pretty dismal), but I'll give it a go. Of all the blogs I have started, I think this one is closest to my heart, and something that I think I can dedicate myself to. We'll see.

I suppose one of the things I am slowly learning about gentleness is that the words I say or write matter so much less than the kind of relationships I foster. It's far more important to me now that I spend quality time in people's company than that I communicate so-called information accurately or successfully. I am reminded of something that Maya Angelou has said (perhaps in her 70th birthday interview with Oprah Winfrey):

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel".

Words. I think a lot about words, the frustration of words, the frequent pointlessness of words, the power of words to raise us up and crush us down. But I am quite taken by the thought that the more we think words matter, the less words tend to matter. Or rather, the more we are distracted by the presumed importance of words in a particular situation, the less likely we are to be aware of the colour of the relationships in that situation, or of the textures and currents of power. More to the point, the more we get hung up on our words the less aware we may become of how we are treating the people around us. I'm sure there are plenty of times in my life where I have subtly or not so subtly disrespected people I have known or even people I have loved because I was so intent on getting my word out, so intent on speaking 'my truth', so intent on naming my islands and making my mark. Sometimes shutting up isn't all that bad.

Shutting up isn't what this blog is about, though. Still, I hope that this blog ends up being more about heart than head, although I'm sure that the pull of the written word will keep my inclinations towards abstraction pretty close to the surface. Nevertheless, I hope that this blog will allow me to revisit the glory of story, the grain of the heart, and the warm caress of the spring sunshine of possibilities.


  • A big warm hug to Anthony and all here,and a thank you for making me feel special (once again) by inviting me to be part of these sharings! ('once again' because I still glow at the thought of hearing you say "I am really glad you exist Kathryn", and trying to come to terms with believing that of myself in a deeper sense. Oh, and I even told my mum and she cried!)

    Sometimes when things seem very big I like to start at the beginning, which has turned out to be a great place for me to begin in these blogs.

    For a few a reasons really, one being that words...the right words, the power of words and feeling that I may not have those right words, often silences me from speaking in cyber space and non-cyber I have taken a lot of comfort in the resonances of reading your words...that it is the relationships that matter more.
    The other being related to that, in that I sometimes get carried away in needing to communicate 'my truth' or beliefs and loose perspective yet again that the relationships involved are more important...and trying to get the balance between the two.
    It strengthens me to remember that the relationships count more, because it frees me from feelings of inadequacy.
    I look forward to more readings and writings!

    By Blogger Kathryn, at Thursday, 10 August, 2006  

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